A friend recently inquired, “Why don’t you just give fake names to people instead of clever titles? Don’t you think it would be more believable?” I thought for half a second, casually imbibing, and recalled the naming of The Kinky Wizard, which I’d be remiss not to include.
The Kinky Wizard was an extremely intellectual young man pursuing the academic challenge of dissertation writing, creating lasers, and teaching at one of the world’s top ten universities. In his spare time, he took me out for Asian food and got naked with me. I had no complaints… until my inquiries got the best of me on fine evening.
Me (innocently pretending to be vaguely interested in his career more than his penis): So has any of your research been published?
Kinky Wizard: Sure, some of my research has been published, and some of my writing as well
Me: Really? I knew you liked poetry…
Kinky Wizard: Yeah, but this was a little different. It’s a crossword puzzle.
Okay, so publishing a crossword puzzle is pretty cool, and thus I was genuinely interested at this point.
Me: Awesome. Any aspirations for the Times someday?
Kinky Wizard: Well this was a little different. It was a sci-fi erotic crossword puzzle.
Me: Wow, what kind of clu……WHAT?!?!? Sci…fi…erotic….croosssssswooorrrdd?
Now, I consider myself slightly creative and have a way with words. My penchant towards a clever quip is innate, almost genetic. I can express my emotions through sonnets and have an appreciation for the finer elements of existence. But this one blew me away. Silence ensued, and the Kinky Wizard sat content. Without further thought, I finished my beer, unhooked my bra, and told him I knew the answer to “one down”…
While this was nearly a year and a half ago, I still, to this day attempt to decipher some possible clues for a sci-fi erotic crossword puzzle. Capt Kirk, any ideas?